The other day her phone call sent me to the bottom of the darkness. My heart ached for her, and wanted to reach through the phone and give her hug. I tried with my words to keep her calm, to let her know she was loved, and to let her know she is never alone. [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Anger’
Crying Music and Happy Faces
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Lyrics, Mothers, Music, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Resiliency, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, childhood sexual abuse, dads, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, mental health, molestation, understanding, tagged Sexual Abuse, Incest, Mothers, Daughters, Survivors, Suicide, family, healing, Life Stories, Anxiety, Belief, memories, Choices, Emotions, Fear, depression, dads, Secrets, angel, childhood sexual abuse, Hope, guilt, Non-Offending Parent, childhood memories, Enablers, Victim, love, Resiliency, Anger, molestation, Sarah MacLachlan, Answer, Evanescence, My Immortal on October 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Spinning Worlds…
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Fear, Hope, Incest, Keeping Secrets, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Remember, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, denial, depression, empathy, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, mental health, molestation, understanding, tagged Anger, Anxiety, Belief, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, family, Fear, guilt, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, molestation, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim on October 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The world is spinning with no apparent exit. I search for a place to jump off, but even if I find it, I get pulled back in. My daughter is on an endless roller coaster ride of emotions and memories. The flashbacks have come back along with the nightmares. It is all brought back to [...]
Sliding Down into Darkness
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Incest, Justification, Keeping Secrets, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Trust, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, denial, depression, guilt, healing, love, mental health, molestation, tagged Anger, Anxiety, childhood memories, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, family, Fear, guilt, healing, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, molestation, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Suicide, Survivors, Trust, Victim on October 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The date passed and I did not even give it a thought. Things seemed to be going so well. Now, a month beyond that and I am sliding down into darkness. Fear invades my thoughts as I watch my daughter struggle with choices made and the past that raises its nasty head once again. She [...]
Ending at 22
Posted in Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Incest, Keeping Secrets, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Resiliency, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Trust, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, depression, family, guilt, humankind, memories, mental health, understanding, tagged Anger, Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, depression, Emotions, false memory, Fear, guilt, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, survivor, Survivors, Trust, Victim on April 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
On Friday, after coming into work I was called into a meeting. In this meeting we were told that one of our teaching assistants committed suicide on Thursday. Her father found her. She was 22 years old.
I had to shut all emotions off in order to greet and teach that day, but at the end [...]
The Counselor: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Belief, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Incest, Justification, Keeping Secrets, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Remember, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Trust, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, humankind, memories, mental health, molestation, sexual predator, understanding, tagged Anger, Anxiety, Belief, childhood memories, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, family, Fear, guilt, healing, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, molestation, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, survivor, Trust, Victim on April 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My heart is tight and my emotions right at the brim of tears. The one person who my daughter trusted after her revelation and attempted suicide, turns out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Contingent upon my daughter’s release from the hospital/treatment program was the proof that she had an appointment with a therapist. They [...]
No More Secrets
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Belief, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Justification, Keeping Secrets, Life Stories, Losing Innocence, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Remember, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Siblings, Sisters, Survivors, Trust, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, church, church of Christ, control, dads, denial, empathy, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, mental health, molestation, religion, taking sides, understanding, tagged Anger, Anxiety, Belief, childhood memories, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, church, church of Christ, control, dads, Daughters, denial, Emotions, family, Fear, healing, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, molestation, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Suicide, Survivors, taking sides, Victim on January 2, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It is a new year and there will not be any more secrets. I am planning on divulging to my two oldest daughters more details that connect my ex-husband to the abuse of my youngest daughter. In the beginning I told them some of the connections and stated these connections provided enough facts to validate [...]
Old Hurts: Crying and Caring
Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Remember, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Siblings, Sisters, Suicide, Survivors, Trust, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, empathy, family, grandchildren, guilt, healing, love, memories, mental health, molestation, taking sides, understanding, tagged Anger, Anxiety, childhood memories, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, Enablers, family, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, love, molestation, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Surviving, taking sides, Trust, Victim on December 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The fight started again. It all started with that e-mail and phone call that I mentioned in my post “Breaking to Pieces.” It continued on Thanksgiving day as we tried to celebrate our families.
We had breakfast at our house because my youngest daughter had to work the afternoon shift. She arrived with her boyfriend and [...]
Why this blog?
This blog is the writings of a mother who finds out from her 23 year old daughter, that she was molested (from age 7 to age 11 or 12) by her dad and was told "Not to tell, especially not to tell your Mom." My heart aches and within this blog, and I hope to start a dialogue with other mothers who have gone through the same thing...Archives
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