This Mother’s Day held several surprises. Days before it arrived, I received cards and photos from my middle daughter. The words written, touched my heart. Then on the Thursday before, I received a text from my youngest about getting together on Sunday for an early lunch. I met with her and we had a lovely time at a local vegan restaurant. She also gave me a Calla lily and locket with a picture of her and my paternal grandmother inside. Back at my house I prepared dinner for my husband and my mother-in law. We had a nice visit and meal. I then called my mother and had a great visit. Next my oldest daughter called. She was joyful and had a gift for me. We met on Tuesday and she brought the boys with her. They gave me a photo in a frame that said Nana. Since that time I have reflected on how far things have come over the last year.
The oldest and the youngest are still fighting. The oldest does not believe that her little sister was molested by their dad. She is blunt in letting her know this. My youngest has called in tears over it all. For so many years my youngest held in what her dad did to her to protect her sisters and their relationship. Having a sister shut her out was her biggest fear and now it is fulfilled. I am still trying to work it out with both of them. I love them both. It is hard. I believe my youngest and am a bit saddened that my oldest daughter does not believe or support my youngest like I do. This mother’s day, I thought a lot on the two of them. Both treated me like a queen and I am glad my relationship with both improved over the last year.
This year, my middle daughter let me know that she has left the congregation where her dad attends and is meeting with a new congregation. She is no longer a conservative “church of Christ” member. She does not believe in corporal punishment for children nor does she believe in “earning her way to heaven” as is preached indirectly in her dad’s congregation. She is happier than I have seen her in years. I never talked badly about the church to them and still do not do so now. I did let her know that it was the church that wore down my faith and spirit and not the luring enticement of the world that led me away. I told her I was glad she was in a place where her spirituality and faith would grow. She understood what I was saying.
This mother’s day, the girls all let me know that they treasured me as their mom. It has been a long road to this point with many joys and tears. I am celebrating Mother’s day every day now in counting the wonderful blessings that each of my daughters are to my life. Someday I hope for a Mother’s Day with harmony between them all and belief in the statement that their dad was a “child molester, a sexual abuser” and that he committed “incest” with his own daughter. I want them to believe it… For now I just reflect on the great gift I have been given in these three wonderful strong women I call my daughters…
