Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, religion, taking sides, understanding, tagged Sexual Abuse, Incest, Mothers, depression, childhood sexual abuse, Rape, balance, Non-Offending Parent, molestation, empathy, understanding, viewpoint, blues, shower, refuge, haunting, life, burden on July 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Slumping to the floor, the water pounds out the sounds of my sobs and mixes with the saltiness of the tears as they roll into my mouth. I question if I can ever get out of the tub. In here I can be myself. In here I can hide for just a few moments from [...]
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Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Justification, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, church, church of Christ, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, taking sides, tagged Sexual Abuse, Incest, celebrations, childhood sexual abuse, Rape, molestation, birthdays, ciminal, punishment, reward, criminal, innocent, parties, marginalized, unfair, hurt on July 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
It was an innocent e-mail. It asked what day would work best for us to attend our grandson’s birthday celebration. She let her sister choose first and then planned two parties around this choice. Her sister chose Monday and we also chose Monday. It is our grandson’s birthday on Monday and we figured that would [...]
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Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Justification, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, tagged Sexual Abuse, Sisters, sorrow, Secrets, childhood sexual abuse, Rape, Add new tag, molestation, uncles, aunts, foster care, social workers, cousins, regret on July 20, 2008 | 1 Comment »
He molested most of his nieces and nephews. At 21 he molested his 5 year old niece. He made his niece touch him. She felt scared and ran out of her home. Then he raped her mom (his sister-in-law) in her own home while his brother was at work. The family rushed him out of [...]
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Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, sin, taking sides, tagged Sexual Abuse, Incest, healing, childhood sexual abuse, Rape, molestation, birthday, 365 days, spiral, anit-depressants, grandchildren, birth, viewpoint, spirals, emotional spirals on July 18, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My grandsons birthday is approaching soon and it marks the beginning of the endless spiral of the last 365 days. You see, a year ago our family Dr. put my youngest daughter on anti-depressants and never checked the dosage. A year ago, as my oldest daughter was in labor, I was caught in the corner [...]
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Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Justification, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Vacation, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, taking sides, tagged childhood sexual abuse, dads, Daughters, Incest, molestation, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, old men, reality, Sexual Abuse, Vacation, young girls on July 9, 2008 | 1 Comment »
For the last week, I have not touched a computer. For the first time since I purchased my laptop, I took a vacation without it. My husband planned a trip for the two of us to Disneyland. We wanted to go to this place where we both have childhood memories, but have never gone together. [...]
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Posted in Anger, Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Fear, Happiness, Hope, Incest, Justification, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Panic, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, control, dads, denial, depression, family, guilt, healing, love, memories, molestation, sin, taking sides, tagged breath, breathing, childhood sexual abuse, dads, darkenss, darkness, Daughters, dealing with guilt, death, demons, empathy, end of time, fighting for life, guilt, heart, help, Hope, living with memories, love, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, sadness, sexaul abuse, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, unconditional love, understanding on July 2, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Until my heart stops beating or my mind stops working, I will remember my daughter’s attempted suicide, the revelation that her dad sexually abused her, the dealing with her keeping this secret from me and the guilt that goes with it.
Until body gives out, I will deal with the demons that come with being the [...]
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