She’s 71 years of age, and she still recalls every detail as if it took place yesterday. She tried to forget. She tried to erase it, but it never goes away.
She told me how after it stopped, she set a date in her mind to forget it. First she chose 15, but when that magical age arrived, she could not shake it. She told herself that 18 would be the magic age. She told herself that when she turned 18, she would be an adult and old enough to finally put it all behind her. Her 18th birthday came and went, but the memories lingered.
The setting of dates/ages to forget continued throughout her life. There was 25 and the birth of her son. Then there was thirty. She just knew by 30 enough years would have passed so she could let go of it. Finally at 40 she realized it would never go away–the memories and the feelings would remain forever.
At 69, she finally felt comfortable enough, and safe enough to talk about it. Her own son, now grown and in his late forties, did not even know about it until this revelation. He confided to his wife, that he wished he did not know because it tears him apart. He said it was hard to know that this happened to his own mom. He felt helpless, mad, and lost.
She’s 71 years of age, and she still recalls every detail of her grandfather molesting her when she was a young child. She remembers it as if it took place yesterday.
