Sitting in front of the computer all bleary eyed, I am unsure of these feelings. The music plays as images dance before me with words I read as if I am just learning to read. Each word settles in and overwhelms me. The battles and the pain from the past year rescind for a moment. In this digital card, she opens her emotions to me, about me. As I read these words of thanks and appreciation I struggle to breath. The long struggle is not over, but for now there is respite.
The music stops and the message finished its dancing scroll. I sit in the silence and read it one more time. The year has been hard, but she thanks me for being there for her and for my love. She tells me that not only am I her mother, but also her best friend. Goosebumps travel over my body while rivers of black mascara mark my emotions.
This is my first Mother’s Day since the revelation. It is a day I will not forget for it has healed more than torn. I have been blessed with a truly strong and amazing daughter. She has endure more than her twenty three years should have endured. She has survived. Sometimes it has been on the edge of darkness, but she continues to fight for breath, for love, for herself and to climb out of the darkness.
As I close the card, I cry for us both…bittersweet tears for all the pain of the past, the pain of the present, and the love that carries us through it all.
Happy Mother’s day. Mrs Y still gets cards about what a wonderful mother she is even from the ones she sent to the abuser. Though he still gets cards about what a wonderful father he is. I really don’t get this upside down world I live in. I refused to sign any of their cards. Am I just an uncaring person? They say hypocrisy is necessary for civilised society but I can’t see them. I am so uncomfortable around them.
incestsucks… you are not an uncaring person. In fact, your taking a stand shows how much you care. He chose to rob his children of their childhood and innocense. He stole something that he had no right to take, something that cannot be given back, something that changes their lives forever, and something that leaves its victims with feelings that never go away, haunting them for the rest of their lives. Continue to stand strong and continue to care for the children who are innocent victims…
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation
Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Monterey