When the phone rang, I hoped it was her. My heart jumped as she spoke. The flu took her down for a few days, but she is better now. I watched the peeled apple on the cutting board turn brown along with the ones in the pastry as we chatted. In the background her cockatiel [...]
Archive for February, 2008
Roller Coaster Ride to Survive
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, love, memories, taking sides, tagged Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, family, Fear, healing hope, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, survivor, taking sides, Victim on February 27, 2008 | 1 Comment »
More Burdens and More Worry
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, love, memories, taking sides, tagged Anxiety, childhood memories, childhood sexual abuse, dads, Daughters, depression, Emotions, family, Fear, healing, Incest, Life Stories, memories, Mothers, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors on February 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I see her name on the message from list. I scan the other e-mail names and then open hers. Inside my stomach flutters and jumps. As I read I start to let out my breath and my muscles relax a bit. Warmth floods me as I read that she is really sick with the flu. [...]
Silence…
Posted in Anxiety, Cancer, Choices, Daughters, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Lyrics, Mothers, Music, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, denial, depression, healing, love, memories, taking sides, tagged Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, dads, Daughters, Fear, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, love, memories, Mothers, Music, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, victim survivors on February 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I e-mail her, but get no reply. A call to her cell with no answer. Finally a text message sent gets a response. She says she has the flu. Nothing else. I worry. Is she avoiding me? Did I do something to upset her? Is she on her medication? Is she mad at me?
I try [...]
Dream—Exist
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, memories, taking sides, tagged childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, Emotions, Enablers, family, Fear, healing, Hope, Incest, memories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, taking sides on February 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I dream of a warm beach far from here where I sit and watch the tides ebb and flow. On this beach, nothing else matters for each day and moment are protected from the invasions of the outside world with all of its toil and worry. I dream…
I live in the real world where I [...]
Am I Alone?
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Enablers, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, church, church of Christ, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, memories, tagged Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, dads, Daughters, denial, depression emotions, Enablers, family, Fear, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, memories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, questions, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim on February 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Am I the only one? The only one whose child is an adult when she reveals the secret of sexual abuse by her dad? I ponder these questions as I search for others who belong to this club for which membership is forced upon you. As I wonder if there are others, my heart also [...]
Walking on a Foggy Road
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, church, church of Christ, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, love, memories, taking sides, tagged Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, Choices, church, church of Christ, dads, Daughters, denial, depression, family, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Resiliency, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide on February 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I have always considered myself as a resilient person. No matter what life has thrown at me, I have been able to handle it and not let it take over my life. However, now I am not feeling resilient. I wondered why this was so different and why I feel like I cannot get a [...]
Vengance: Taking Her Lifeline and Healing
Posted in Anxiety, Choices, Daughters, Divorce, Emotions, Enablers, Faith, Fear, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Survivors, Victim, childhood sexual abuse, church, church of Christ, dads, denial, depression, family, healing, love, memories, religion, taking sides, tagged Anxiety, childhood sexual abuse, christian, church, church of Christ, dads, Daughters, denial, Divorce, Emotions, Faith, family, Fear, healing, Hope, Incest, Life Stories, memories, Mothers, Non-Offending Parent, Rape, religion, Secrets, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, survivor, taking sides, Victim on February 17, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It came via an e-mail to my husband. It carried the subject line of Medical Insurance. It was sent 4 days earlier, but with company at our house, my husband had not checked his mail. Inside the e-mail my ex-husband stated he was removing our youngest daughter from his medical insurance. He threatened this [...]
Why this blog?
This blog is the writings of a mother who finds out from her 23 year old daughter, that she was molested (from age 7 to age 11 or 12) by her dad and was told "Not to tell, especially not to tell your Mom." My heart aches and within this blog, and I hope to start a dialogue with other mothers who have gone through the same thing...Archives
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